>college has begun, life has become hectic and now we are working on Saturdays as well. Shwetha my cousin, is now Mrs. shwetha ramaprabu and saarang is just down the corner. I have been too busy the past few days and it has been one week since i even had a proper sleep. Somehow i hav started liking this year, unlike the last which found me lost in life. This year has opened new doors,has brought new challenges and has shown me new horizons. i have finally found a purpose in life. No people its not a love failure as it may sound.
i stopped loitering around places wondering what to do, now i am always on the move.
i have realized that if i have to do something then i have to give it my best shot, for once i agree with chairman 'it is not hard work that counts, but smart work'. i know this might sound hypocrisy, i cant help it, thats the fact. it is true, that only smart work counts, 4 years ago along with nirmal i organized a gala farewell for my seniors, i worked like a dog, i sweated it out and worked till 2 in the night to make the farewell a success. but in the end my work was neither recognized nor was it appreciated. My final years in school were really tough. i wanted to break even with the other 'happening' guys in school, so i went to great extents, yet my name was never remembered. Now, i did work very hard, but i was not smart enough and i lost the race.
My hate of the womankind probably started then, i was suffering from a terrible skin allergy, my skin supposedly grew faster than the normal person's skin, and my skin used to peel and appear red. the doc told me that there was only one solution, i take a tablet, which was generally given to cancer patients. The doc also told that it was so powerful a steroid that it might have some side effects in the future. My parents thought of the long time consequences and they got me to an ayurvedic doctor. this doc showed me some hope but he told me that it is going to take sometime, in fact a lot of time. four years hence i am 95% cured, yet still i am on the medicines , and probably will continue it for a long time. the major part of the initial medication (the time my allergy was very intense) were during school time. now the girls in my school used to find odd excuses to ignore me, i new that it was mostly because of my external appearance, but then they used to give me a plethora of other excuses. After all , all they could have done was say bang on the face 'you look a sick sight, and i dont wana hang around with you.' even that would not have done a greater damage than the torment i faced. i knew what it was and i never used to socialize, i used to take in everything alone. in the very brief talks i used to have, talks i am sure that were never near anything that is called 'flirting', even in those brief encounters they used to be very hostile. that created a very deep sense of hatred in my mind towards women and i from then on looked at them merely as objects which do not even deserve a spit.
This year has changed my look at women completely. it has taken nearly four years, but finally i have realized that they are more than what i think they were. i forgive all those girls of vanavani, who made my life a living hell. i also would like to tell them that i would like to keep things to myself, the next time i ever see a vanavanian i am never gona say a hi ( i remember that my 'hi's in school were reciprocated with a sneering aayayo). i am also not going to attend any of their reunions were the only thing i heard was 'are you really kausik? you look different now'
i am moving, new friends, better human values, new purpose, yet the same vigor.

P.S
please do not show your 'pity' in the comments. i wrote this post because i thought i need to explain why my previous post were what they were and because i wanted to put a definite full stop to a almost never ending chapter called 'Vanavani' in my life.